Namecalling
by Moon's-Wing
Summary: All Ed and Roy do is call each other names, right?


Ed looked down at himself in the darkness. He pulled up the leg of his light blue boxers to look at where his leg and the auto mail connected and felt the spot on his chest where the other metal chunk became a part of him as well. 'So sexy,' he thought miserably.

Ed's last adventure with Al had come up dry. His research seemed to be mocking him. It was the last thing he wanted to look at now.

This late at night, only things left to do was lay in bed or wander about aimlessly. Ed didn't just stay still. It just wasn't in his DNA. So he started wandering Central Headquarters. Noticing a light on from outside, he did his best to peek into the second story window. He recognized it as Colonel Mustang's office. And if he wasn't mistaken, Mustang was still in it.

The colonel was sitting at his desk, back facing the young alchemist, head bowed, gloved hands running through his dark hair. His hands stayed at the back of his head for a long time. Then something entered the groggy boy's head. Maes Hughes' funeral had been merely hours earlier. Ed hit himself in the forehead. 'Oh, my god, is it really possible I was so involved with my own needs I missed something so obvious? Mustang was Hughes' best friend. He must be in agony right now.' He paused. 'But how can I help?' The alchemist looked long at the colonel. He couldn't think of a thing to do for him short of consolation. But would the man open up to him? Well, at least he could say he tried.

Knock, knock. "Colonel?"

Pause. Nothing.

"Colonel?" Ed dared to open the door. "Colonel, I saw your light on, and I ---" he stopped dead in his tracks. There before him, as curled up as he could be sitting at a desk, sobbing like a colicky newborn, was Colonel Roy Mustang.

Ed didn't think the man heard him come in. 'Aww, great, now what?' he asked himself. Quietly, he approached Mustang. "Colonel?" he called cautiously.

As if it took great effort, Mustang lifted his head. "Fullmetal," he stated. "What the hell do you want at this hour?"

"N-Nothing," Ed managed to reply. "I just saw your light on, and… um…"

"And what?" the man challenged, standing up. "Couldn't pass up an opportunity to see the Great Flame Alchemist Colonel Roy Mustang depressed? Crying, even?" He stumbled back down to his chair, as if standing were too much. "Get the hell out of here, Fullmetal."

Instead of leaving, Ed did the only thing he could think of, something he didn't have the courage to do when Winry's parents passed. He walked up and around to the colonel's back and held him.

He was only going to embrace the man a moment, but Roy did something unexpected. His chair swivelled so he was facing the younger alchemist and embraced him back, sobbing into his black shirt. Ed held the man around his shoulders for what seemed a long amount of time. After what could have been hours, the man's tears seemed to slow, then eventually stop.

"Fullmetal?" came a scratchy and familiar voice.

"Yeah?"

"Tell anyone about this and I'll kill you."

"I kinda figured. This isn't something I'd brag about either, don't worry."

"You're dismissed."

As Ed opened the door, the colonel added, "Fullmetal?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you."

Ed couldn't figure it out. He couldn't decide if Roy was being nicer to him or not. They still got into their classic cat fights, of course, but it seemed they were happening less frequently. It was almost as if Roy's tolerance for him had grown, just a bit. Every time Ed noticed this, the name calling and squabbling would begin again.

"Take that back, you power hungry psycho!" the younger alchemist yelled, leaning over the colonel's desk.

"Take what back? The truth?" Roy asked smugly into the other's face. They stared each other down, Ed growling and Mustang smirking, until the older alchemist closed the space between them in a kiss.

Ed's eyes opened wide in shock, and immediately tried to pull away, but Roy's hand quickly wrapped around his head, pressing his lips harder against his own. He didn't let the boy go until he stopped fighting him and lust glazed his eyes. The spell now broken, Ed began his rant.

"What the fuck, Mustang!" he yelled. "Do you know how much shit I could throw your way for that!"

"Yes, I know," the colonel replied, making his way around his desk to the other. "But I can't seem to find it in myself to wait for you any longer." He stood only inches from the other.

"W-Wait? For what?" Ed stammered.

"To know if you'll let me have you," Roy replied smoothly, running an ungloved hand across the blonde's cheek. "You're all I've wanted for a very long time now."

"And if I just call you a pedofile on my way out the door?" Ed challenged.

"I would be hurt. No one wants to be denied the things they want." Roy took the opportunity to steal another kiss. Ed didn't fight as much this time, more out of confusion than anything. Roy assaulted the other's mouth this time, trying to put all his feelings into that one kiss. "Let me have you," he whispered.

Vision glazed and hazy, Ed looked at the man before him. His eyes, his expression, his very stature was not the Roy Mustang he'd come to tolerate. All he saw now was the man behind the mask, the one longing for his company. Still not fully sure what he was agreeing to, but oddly trusting him, Ed said softly, "Ok."

Roy smiled. Not a smirk, a smile. He kissed his hostage once more, backing the boy unto his desk, destroying the piles of paperwork. He was in total control, and looking forward to owning Ed in every sense of the word. "There's only one other man who's seen tears fall from these eyes. Needless to say, I was very close to him as well."

Ed, vision hazy and thoughts scrambled, managed one word. "Hughes?"

"Yes, you are correct. And coherent. Let's change that." Mustang was pulling off the blonde's long sleeved shirt when he protested. "What's the matter?" the older alchemist asked, confused.

"You can't possibly..." Ed began sorrowfully. "Possibly find this" his flesh hand touched his automail shoulder "attractive."

Roy began to laugh.

Ed narrowed his eyes.

"Ed, why would you hide anything from me?" the colonel asked. "If I want to have sex with you, I want all of you. Automail included."

"You... do?"

Roy nodded.

"Huh. Go figure."

"May I continue with your consented molestation?"

"Please do."

The brunette latched his mouth onto the other's neck and finished taking off the black shirt, as well as his own uniform jacket and white undershirt. Ed looked at the finely toned muscle before him. He started to salivate. Roy chuckled and pulled off the teen's tank top. "All that sparring agrees with you quite well," he observed.

Ed turned a red that would make cherries cry. Roy took the younger alchemist in his arms once more, feeling, touching, kissing every spot he could. Ed was completely lost in his companion's caresses, letting low and appreciative moans escape from his mouth. Roy couldn't believe how intensely sexy the teen in front of him looked, sultry and wanton, waiting for more. Unbuckling the blonde's brown belt, Mustang noticed the bulge in the younger alchemist's pant matched his aching own. He kicked off his boots, pulled off Ed's, then both their pants. They gazed at each other appreciatively, until Roy pushed Ed to lay flat on his desk.

"Ow! Jerk!"

"Now, now. This is no time for name calling. We've long passed foreplay." The colonel got up on top of his subordinate. "Mmm, yummy." Purposely, he leaned across the blonde, pressing their bodies and erections together. Ed moaned loudly as Roy pulled his hand lotion out of his desk. He gave his fingers a good coating and lifted up Ed's lower half.

"Hey! What're you -Nyaaaahhhhhh," Ed moaned as Mustang sunk in his first finger. The world was a pool of pain sidelined with pleasure as long as the colonel didn't stop stretching the blonde.

"I'm going to have you now," Roy told him. "You're going to be all mine." Without any further ado, he thrust himself into the teen, causing him to cry out. All Ed saw was stars.

"Oh! Roy! Don't stop!"

"Quiet down or I'll have to."

"No.. Don't..."

"Good boy. Just -uh- enjoy it." They spoke no more until Ed came, his cum flying through the air. Roy, seeing his new lover at his peak, reached his climax as well, flooding torrents inside the teen.

After they'd both begun to breathe normally again, Ed asked, "So, what does this mean now?"

"Eh?"

"Are we lovers now, or are you really just trying to bang everyone possible?"

"There was a time the last was my ultimate goal. But I have to break it to you, we're lovers now."

"Unless I sue your pedofile ass."

"You don't have the balls. And I know that for certain now."

"JACKASS!"

"Ooo, more foreplay already?"


End file.
